Wednesday, January 17, 2007

From Feminist to Feminine

I've been inspired by Elise's story entitled 'Found' to tell a little of my story.

I was a young, American, Christian girl, full of dreams about my future. I was a planner, a goal-setter, and a dreamer. From my youngest days I remember contemplating what I would 'be' when I grew up, or where I would go to college. Somewhere way back in my little brain I believed that I would one day become a wife and a mother, but how I would get there or how that would intersect with my other goals was not at all a concern. I was smart, so they said. I could do anything. It sounded so blissful to map out my future. So, I often retreated to own little world where realizing my dreams was the key to my happiness.

At eighteen, I was accepted into a very good college, which I proceeded to attend. I spent the next year joining the world and all of it's darkness in my pursuit of happiness. The following summer, I was met with a suprise that did not fit into my plans or dreams at all.

I denied it.
I tried to run from it.
I was scared, sad and depressed.

Until, in agony, I turned my face back toward my glorious Creator who had never ceased loving me.

It was then that the Holy Spirit began to transform me. I knew it because:

I had joy in the midst of the sorrow of lost dreams.
I had love where before there was none.
I had peace in the midst of chaos.
I had faith that the Lord was my good Shepherd.

Two short months later, I was a bride. Seven years later, he still shares:
my bed,
my home,
my heart.

During the past seven years, the Lord has moved my heart slowly towards home. One by one, he has plucked my worldly dreams from my fingers and replaced them with blessings too numerous to contain in my hands. He is moving my heart to a place where my desires are his, and for that I am thankful.

There is great peace in knowing that He is sovereign, even when I am such a fool.

"Hallelujah, he has found me
the one my soul so long has craved.
Jesus satisfies all my longings,
by his blood, I now am saved"
"He Rescued Me"


  1. What a beautiful story. It sounds similar to mine.
    Thanks for sharing.

  2. This is a very sweet post! My daughter is 18 and has her whole life planned out but, I sense that God is going to be making some changes sooner than she thinks. I am just waiting and watching and enjoying! I know He will lead her to her heart's desires.

  3. Mesmerizing.
    I love how you "knew" - those emotions that should not be present in pain, but are anyway.
    And what a beautiful phrase - "One by one, he has plucked my worldly dreams from my fingers and replaced them with blessings too numerous to contain in my hands."
    You are precious.