Sharing the Burden

Yesterday, I didn't want to get up in the morning. I could already hear the big kids stirring, the baby was waking up and would need to be nursed and all I wanted to do was sleep. Dizzily, I sat up and began my day. Nursing the babe, feeding the kids, doing the dishes, laundry, schoolwork; the usual. In the midst of the frustration of a constantly crying baby and a very curious toddler I realized that I just couldn't handle it anymore. I cried out to the Lord to help me!

And, he heard me.

Somehow, the laundry got loaded and I was able to sit down and hold my baby for a while.

As I sat, I watched. The five-year-old and the boy were happily playing legos together. The seven-year-old was dutifully completing her phonics work. And the sweet baby had fallen asleep in my lap.

Tears filled my eyes as I realized that this is what he wants for me. Why do I keep trying to bear this burden by myself? He is with me always, and ready to help. All I have to do is ask.

It is so sweet to be His.

Here We Go

It's that time again. That time when I complain of being too busy and not getting to do things my way. That time when I threaten to take my little family and run away to celebrate things our way. Basically, it's that time again when I act like a total sinner and completely forget the grace shown to me which is the very reason for these celebrations.

For some reason, I am most selfish during the holiday season. Yes, I shrug it off as trying to "protect my children and their holiday memories." But, it's really just selfishness. I think that I know the best way to do things and I don't really want to oblige anyone else. This is a wonderful time for me to practice being gracious, and letting the Lord use me to be a peacemaker. Yet, in the past, I have continually opted for stubbornness and caddy, "can you believe that he..." whispered to my husband.

And so, I am praying for an extra measure of grace. And, I am committing myself to steep this time in scripture that his sweet words might overflow out of my mouth. May this Thanksgiving and Christmas be special, not because of getting to do things my way, but because I am able to reflect the one who is the giver of all good things.

Here's wishing you a joyous Thanksgiving, as you reflect upon God's sovereign grace shown to us through the blessings of living in the Land of the Free.

Choices

When you happen to live in the same city as a wonderful Classical and Christian school, it can be difficult to explain your choice to homeschool.

When two of your dear family members are founding members of that excellent school, it gets even more tricky to justify your homeschooling decision.

When you spent a year teaching at that school, and growing to love many of it's methods, things can get really complicated.

When your grandparents offer to foot the bill for your firstborn to attend that school and you graciously refuse it, you can begin to wonder whether you are slowly going insane.

When a friend, whose daughter is attending second grade at that school, tells you about the paragraph she recently wrote in class; you might start worrying that your child is not keeping up.

And so, I have to go back to the beginning. I have to remember why I am doing this. Ultimately, it is because the Lord has clearly called us to be a homeschooling family. I can only endure the "concern" from others when I focus upon him. My children may not be super advanced in their studies. But, they are learning so much. I hope that someday, others will be able to see the fruit of our choice. In the meantime, I seek my encouragement from the Lord and from those of you who are or have been in my shoes. I am so thankful for this tool to daily connect me with encouragement from other homeschooling families.

As an aside, I found this Ambleside Language Arts scope and sequence very reassuring that we are doing just fine.

Prying My Grubby Little Fingers

Eight years ago, I became a wife at the young age of nineteen. I was still pretty wound up and focused on myself. I have always been pretty forward-thinking, a dreamer, head-in-the-clouds, bossy, annoying, well I guess that should do. Anyhow, I had my life planned out. And, being a low income wife and homeschooling mother of four children really wasn't in the plans. After all, I was going to college, that guaranteed riches and success - right? Over the years, the Lord has gently pried my hands off of the junk that I call precious. He has been faithful to bless me despite my foolishness, yet I remain a fool.

He has recently had to pry again.

My dear husband had fatherhood thrust upon him quite young, and before he really had time to consider a career. And, as you know, once fatherhood began, it continued quite rapidly. Fast-forward eight years later, he is a father to four dear ones and is still faithfully remaining with the same job he began nearly eight years ago. I, being the bossy, dreamy, annoying one have recently seen fit to find him a career that suits him better. "Maybe you'd like this, or that dear. Shall I research it for you? Shall I schedule an interview or an appointment for you?" And on, and on I go. Where does it all end? Frustration. Frustration, because it's my idea and not his.

And so, with His gentle prying, I am doing my best to release my grip on what I think is best. Especially with the upcoming Holiday, it is fitting that I focus on what I can be thankful for. I have a husband who loves the Lord, me and our children. He is faithful to provide for us. And, he's pretty cute and can always make me laugh. As I let go of selfish ambitions, and thank the Lord for his goodness; I can again focus on my job, and let my husband focus on his... praying all the way through.

First Things First

It seems simple enough. You have to put on your socks before you put on your shoes (unless you're wearing flip-flops), you should put the toothpaste on the toothbrush before you brush your teeth. But, what do you do when the baby is starving, you've run out of counter space for dirty dishes, and the seven-year-old needs help with her math work? Well, I suppose you could move math to the kitchen, nurse the baby while standing and doing the dishes with one hand. But, it would be right at that moment that the toddler walks in with a bloody nose dripping everywhere. Things just aren't so cut and dry for a Mama with many little ones. The needs are constant, and often urgent.

It is in these moments that I will cry out to the Lord, "you told me that your yoke is easy and your burden is light, so what exactly is the burden that I am to bear right now?" With that, I can calmly set down the baby who has been fed enough to last another five minutes, clean up the toddler, and sit back down with my infant. As she nurses, the seven-year-old may sit near us and she and I can go over her math. The dishes have no soul, so they can wait. There's a good rule for you; if it doesn't have a soul, it can wait for those who do. Just because his burden is easy doesn't mean that we can relax, but we can rest in knowing that no matter how constant the needs are, He is by our side bearing them with us.